ZADR The Natural Way of Things ch.10

When Zim woke up, it was to the grating sound of the t.v., and GIR. Zim made a face, antennae flattening tighter to his scalp in annoyance as he nuzzled closer to the warmth and the sound of the Dib's heart organ.

Far from being annoyed by that particular noise, Zim found that he rather liked it. The steady, rhythmic beats reminded him a lot of the pulsing of the Massive's engines, as heard far belowdecks, in the smeetery...

"Zim." Zim could actually feel the vibration of the human's voice through his chest. While not entirely unpleasant, it was jarring compared to the calm, steady beats of the heart organ. Zim pulled another face, pulling away to toss a halfhearted glare up at the human. "What, Dib-noise?"

Dib wasn't looking at him. He was looking at the television screen, amber eyes red-rimmed. "They think I did it. They think I went nuts and torched my own house."

"What?" Zim's head whipped around to glare at the t.v. "Fools! Did they not find evidence of that...THING that tried to destroy the Dib and Zim?!"

Dib snorted. "Conveniently, no. And if they did, they probably think that's how I got out, since they didn't find my body in the wreckage. Just like the bitch planned, I bet."

Zim hissed something very censor-worthy in Irken, shaking his gloved fist in outrage at the screen. He didn't react when Dib touched his shoulder. "Calm down, Zim. Getting pissed and overreacting is what got us into this mess in the first place."

When that didn't work, Dib lifted his hand, running the pads of his fingers and thumb down one of the alien's slightly arched antennae. Zim's body instantly went slack as the lethargic pleasure washed over him. Ruby orbs going half-lidded, he forgot why he was shaking his fist at and cursing the stoopid hyuuman device and instead turned away from it, burying his head into his newly claimed pillow--Dib's chest.

He was completely content with that, until-- "Dawww! Mastah's cuute!"

His eyes snapped open at the sound of his robot slave's singsong voice. Hissing again, he pushed roughly away from Dib, slapping the hand on his antenna away as he scooted to the other end of the couch.

"Zim is NOT cute!" he growled, throwing his most ferocious glare yet at the little robot--which went entirely ignored as GIR squeed, hugging his rubber piggy. Dib smiled to himself at the exchange, but the smile was brief, fading into a harder look as he looked back at the t.v. screen.

He blew out a gusty sigh, thunking his head onto the back of the couch. "I'm all out of ideas now, Zim. My one trump card got us nowhere. If a bunch of the most paranoid freaks on the planet didn't believe me, no one will..."

Zim looked back at the lounging human, and scoffed. "Stupid Dib and his inferior hyuuman methods."

Dib turned his head to look at the alien, eyes narrowing in a halfhearted glare. "Well then what do you suggest, almighty Zim?"

The boy's voice dripped with sarcasm on the title and Zim's name, but the alien let it slide--for just this once. He grinned, baring wicked zipped teeth. "Irken methods. Elimination. Annihilation. Extermination. DOOOM!" Zim threw his hands up in a mock explosion, erupting into vicious, spine-tingling cackling.

Dib stared at the Irken's face, gears clicking, grinding, but not quite catching. "And how are we supposed to do that?"

"Rain bombs of DOOM down upon the Scattermoon-thing's filthy HEAD!" the alien gasped in response, mid-cackle, hugging himself with pure malevolent glee.

"I meant realistically, space boy." Dib sighed, rubbing his temples, trying to push through the fog of hopelessness and despair that had taken up residence in his (normal sized!) head upon seeing the remains of his home on t.v...

"Information." The word didn't come from him or Zim but from above, from Zim's computer.

Dib blinked in confusion for a minute, but then it all clicked into place, sending the previously struggling gears in his head to spinning wildly, in a way they hadn't done in far too long. "Oh," he breathed. "Computer, that's genius."

"Well I am a supercomputer," the computer replied smugly.

Zim stopped laughing, looking at the boy with one nonexistent brow arched. "Whut's genius? Tell Zim!"

"The virus! I can modify it and use it to hack into Scattermoon's private files! I can find out everything, even where she is now!" Dib laughed himself, punching the air. "Computer, you're genius!"

"HEY. Zim helped!" Zim growled, pouting unconsciously at the now gleeful Dib.

"You're genius too, Zim." And the boy further surprised Zim by grabbing either side of his head and pressing a happy kiss to his forehead. Before the smaller alien could react, Dib let go of him and bounced off the couch, bounding toward the kitchen with a victorious whoop. GIR ran after, piggy held high, echoing the noise though he had no idea what was going on. He was just happy because his friend Mary was happy again.

After a long while, Zim got bored of t.v., and curious as to what was taking the Dib so long down in the lab. Curious, not paranoid. He was still too relaxed from earlier's antenna petting to bother with wondering why his PAK was bothering to make that distinction. A few more long, drawn out minutes later, and the small alien mustered up the motivation to act on his curiosity.

Deep in the base, Dib sat at the computer terminal, but he wasn't typing away at the keyboard; he was watching the screen, a disguised GIR snoozing peacfully at his feet. Zim approached silently, gaze fixed on Dib's determined, purposeful face.

"Dib-stink, what'er you doing...?"

A slight flick of amber flickered at Zim as he drew level. "Waiting for little Virus 2.0 to munch through Scattermoon's defenses. Apparently there's some weird human-alien hybrid software protecting the really sensitive, important files. It's going to take some time."

Zim hmphed his acknowledgement, crossing his arms, hip pressing unconsciously into the side of the chair near Dib as he watched the red progress bar on the screen slowly fill with green.

A few minutes into the long, almost comfortable silence, Dib mumbled, "erm...Zim...?"

Zim's antenna twitched at the sound of his name, his head turning to look at the boy. "Yes?"

"Um...What were you going to ask me, before the ah, the you know...?"

Zim's nonexistent brow lifted slightly in confusion, but then it clicked. Oh. It was all going according to (belated) plan, but Zim hardly felt devious or manipulative anymore as he quietly pulled the worn photograph out of his back pocket and held it up to the bright glow from the screen.

Dib looked at it curiously, the blood draining from his face as he recognized it. "W-where did you get that?"

Zim stared directly into Dib's face and said softly, but just as directly: "Did you miss Zim while he was gone?"

Dib's near-vulnerable expression hardened instantly, his head turning away to watch the computer screen again. "It doesn't matter whether I did or not. The past is past. We've got much bigger problems to worry about right now."

Something tightened hard on Zim's spooch at Dib's harsh tone, but he couldn't, wouldn't let this go. He had to know. "Did you miss me, Dib-human?"

"NO!" the boy spat, shooting the alien a devastating glare. "Now go away. I'm trying to work."

Anger, at the boy's stubborn refusal to admit the truth, at him trying to boss ZIM around IN HIS OWN BASE rose up, hot and thick, releasing the guilty clenching on his spooch. He grabbed the back of the chair, whipping it around. As Dib yelped in surprise, he hopped up on the seat, planting himself in Dib's lap like before. He grabbed the front of Dib's shirt, claws digging through the thin fabric, into the warm flesh beneath that he had so happily cuddled against just moments ago. "LIES Dib-liar! You missed ZIM, and locked away all your paranormal thingamajoo. Zim wants to know why, now!" he growled, forehead thunking against Dib's in a mini head butt so he could glare directly into Dib's eyes.

For a second, Dib fumed, glowering back, looking like he was about to snap something along the lines of 'fuck you!' at the alien--but then he seemed to deflate a bit, avoiding Zim's gaze, which was hard, since the smaller alien's face so close.

"The fuck was I supposed to do, Zim?" he burst out, growling, with a whine underneath. "You disappeared without a trace, just up and left, leaving me here with 'groundless' proof as usual, and looking crazier than ever. Besides needing to do something to keep from being institutionalized again...I didn't want to do it anymore, after-after you...It's hard to chase after fantastical things like big feets and lake monsters after you've traded blows with the real thing." By the end of the outburst, the boy was almost whispering, and was looking more sick, sad and kicked-puppylike than he had when Darkbooty had called him crazy.

Zim pulled his head back a little, ruby eyes drifting down to guiltily look at his claws, which had loosened on the Dib's shirt. "So...so you did miss Zim?" The anger had leaked out of Zim's voice too, leaving it timid and questioning.

Dib's eyes snapped back up to Zim's face in another glare, this one more hurt than angry. "Yeah, Zim. Yeah I did. Happy now? You can yell and make fun of me all you want now. I've given you some pretty good ammunition."

Zim's antennae flattened tight to his skull, and he flinched unconsciously at Dib's bitter tone. It was true--and absolutely ridiculous. And yet, so was what came tumbling out of Zim's mouth, completely without his permission.

"Zim missed the Dib-monster too." Horror at what he'd just said crawled around inside of Zim's chest like a live monster, threatening to eat his own equivalent of a heart organ. But it was like his PAK's speech inhibitor was offline; he couldn't seem to stop. The words just kept coming out like some sort of icky word vomit.

"The Tallest needed Zim back on Irk, b-but not as an Invader." Dib's eyes, which had already gone wide, went even wider at that. "They needed Zim as a m-mechanic, a lowly mechanic far behind the front lines--"

"And that's why you came back," Dib murmured. "to prove yourself as an Invader to them."

Zim's shoulders drooped at Dib's weird tone, but he nodded. Didn't he know how humiliating that was? To work like a common drone while his fellow invaders led the charge? Dib gave a soft, strange little laugh, rubbing at his face. "Fucked up thing is, I pity you for that."

Zim's head bowed forward, claws clenching and unclenching. "Don't pity Zim." It was meant to be a growled warning, but all it came out as was low and sad.

Dib sighed, thunking his head back on Zim's. "That's not what I meant, Zim."

Zim's eyes narrowed. "Then what did you mean, Dib-eloquent?"

Dib-eloquent. That was a new one. "Better question: what did you mean?" Dib countered.

A green brow lifted. "Whut?"

Dib smirked. "You said you missed me."

Zim groaned. "Ugh. Forget Zim's word vomit, hyuuman. Erase it from your overly larger noggin-y...headspace...thing..."

"Hey Zim?"

"Whut?"

"Shut up."

This time it was Dib who bridged the gap between them, pressing his mouth to Zim's as the alien opened his mouth to snap back. As Dib's tongue carefully slid into Zim's mouth to wrap around the serpentine tongue, he pulled the alien closer, one arm wrapping around the smaller body while the other caught and stroked along an antenna, from base to tip. Zim hummed as he relaxed, the noise and closeness a comfort to them both, though both would rather jump in vats of acid than admit to it.

The kissing didn't last long, though. Dib's antenna strokes, surer now, were making Zim sleepy, especially when Dib's fingers stretched out, to touch both at the same time.

Zim's humming turned to purring, arms wrapping around Dib's neck, leaning heavily on the boy until they both needed air. Then Zim pulled away, tucking his head underneath Dib's chin, nuzzling into his new pillow. He felt Dib laugh softly, the mellow noise fading out as Zim dozed, Dib's smell and the steady beat of the heart organ filling his head with a pleasant warmth...

Dib kept twirling the end of Zim's antenna even when he was sure the smaller alien had dozed off, stroking softly. Zim shivered, a small hiccup interrupting the steady purr, but only for a second. Dib found himself smiling in spite of himself, dropping a small kiss on the green scalp. He had no idea that Zim could actually be cute, but here he was, holding on to and cuddling up against Dib like an obnoxious green cat. An adorable obnoxious green cat...

He was looking down at Zim, when a soft ding from the computer made him look up. His smile widened.

He shook Zim gently, letting go of the scaly antenna.

"Mmph. Whut?"

"Wake up, Zim. Virus 2.0 is in."