ZADR The Natural Way of Things Ch.11

Zim sat up a bit groggily, pivoting in Dib's lap to face the screen. He peered grumpily up at it. "Your point, Dib-smell?"

Dib grinned, long fingers wrapping around Zim's small waist, shifting the smaller alien on his lap a bit so he could get a better look at the screen. "Let's see..."

One of Dib's hands moved from Zim's waist to tap at several keys on the keyboard. "....PROCESSING..." the computer intoned from above in response. After a short pause, images began to flicker across the screen.

Some were completely useless--documents in a strange language neither of them could read. But then, things that looked suspiciously like blueprints started showing up.

Dib's grin instantly slipped and he sat up completely, nearly dislodging Zim. "Computer, go back to that."

The computer sighed, but complied. Dib gasped. "That's....Those are..."

Zim blinked up at the hyuman in annoyance before looking back up at the blue that now filled the computer screen. "What, Dib-wiggle? What's so important about this? It all looks like random white...squiggly things to Zim."

Dib leaned up, tapping through the progression of images manually. "They're blueprints, Zim. Blueprints for a building. A base. Alab."

At that Zim perked up, eyes narrowing, claws digging into the Dib's thighs beneath him. Another alien base, on HIS planet, WITHOUT his permission and without his knowing? Unacceptable!

"Computer!" he barked. "Scan the hyuuman interwebs for a filthy structure with this design!"

Dib blinked, surprised by the intelligent command. "That's...actually a really good idea, Zim."

"Of course it is," Zim sniffed, leaning back against Dib's chest petulantly, arms crossing, shifting a bit so his PAK fit underneath one of Dib's arms, his shoulders flush against the human's warmth.

Dib let him, adjusting his grip accordingly, one arm unconsciously looping loosely around Zim's waist as he watched the slightly smaller secondary screen run the search.

The search took a lot less time than Dib anticipated. Only ten minutes passed before the computer announced, rather smugly: "Only one structure within the immediate vicinity of this base fits these perimeters: the Virchurion Institiute."

"Virchurion Institute...Computer, pull up all information on it, from the Internet and Scattermoon's files." Dib said.

The main screen went dark for a second, then brightened agai, flickering through the results slow enough for Dib to read.

Yes, Virchurion was a lab, but a far more private, commercial one than Dib's father Professor Membrane's; Virchurion dealt with simple chemicals. No weapons, no trying to better or save (or destroy) the world. Just a simple manufacturer of known chemicals, mostly for pharmasutical purposes.

It just didn't make any sense. Why go though all the trouble to build a very elaborate setup just to sit on her ass and make some harmless chemicals? And what about that...metal creature that attacked them in his house? Or those weird gun things? There was nothing at all about them in Scattermoon's files, connected to Virchurion or otherwise. The hairs on the back of Dib's neck prickled, the hair that made up his scythe lock trembling with dread.

He needed eyes in that place.

"Computer, does Virus 2.0 have the capabilities to hack into Virchurion's security feeds?"

"As partly my creation, of course," the computer drawled. "But that won't be necessary."

Huh? "Why not?"

"Because, the owner of the hacked computer is accessing the security mainframe right now."

"Piggyback?"

"Possibly. But there is a very limited window of time for it."

Dib swore, shifting Zim off his lap to free his hands, instantly missing the warmth of the alien but not focusing on it, setting his fingers to flying across the keyboard once again instead.

Zim did not particularly like this turn of events, but for once he stayed silent, watching Dib work from the side with barely concealed fascination and confusion. What did piggies and backs have to do with the enemy base's security system? Zim didn't know, but he was too mesmerized by the almost hypnotic dance of slim white fingers over his keyboard to think to ask.

"Annnd...." The boy seemed to hold his breath for a minute, before exhaling the words "We're in."

The Dib's eyes then widened in shock. "Zim," he breathed. Scattermoon had not only unwittingly given him access to the security feeds, but pretty much everything else as well. The chemical vats, everything. The keys to Scattermoon's kingdom were in his hands, and the bitch was none the wiser.

Zim tore his eyes away from the now stilled fingers, looking up at the boy, confused at the shock he saw there. "What, Dib-stupid?"

"Zim, I'm in Virchurion's computer mainframe," Dib said softly, wonder replacing shock as he realized something else. "I could mess with the really sensitive chemical vats from here and blow the place sky high if I wanted..." It would certainly show the bitch just who she decided to fuck with...

Zim cracked a malevolent grin. Now explosions were definitely something he understood. "Do it!" he commanded.

When Dib didn't move, Zim jumped back up on the chair and Dib's lap. He leaned over, a clawed finger extending out to stab the button that would execute the command...

"NO!" Zim jerked in surprise as his wrist was grabbed, his hand yanked away from the keyboard.

He quickly recovered. "WHAT is the meaning of this, Dib-filth?!" He snarled, shouting though the human was just inches from him.

"It may be run by Scattermoon, but that's still a HUMAN facility, Zim!" the boy growled right back. "There might be innocent people in there who will get hurt and probably killed if we do this now! We have to make sure there isn't first."

Zim stared at the hyuman incredulously. "Are. You. Serious?" he hissed. They had the power to wipe the Scattermoon-thing's filthy base off the face of the Earth RIGHT NOW, yet the Dib refused to do it because there might be other 'innocent' hyumans in there. Hyuumans who probably wouldn't even like or care for the Dib at all in return if they ever met him.

Zim's eyes searched Dib's face when he didn't get a verbal response. From the set to his jaw and the look in those bright amber eyes, he certainly was serious. "HAVE YOU THE BRAIN WORMS?!" Zim shrieked, hitting the Dib's forehead with a gloved palm. It wasn't a nice, light hit; Zim's palm made a loud smacking noise when it struck the white flesh. But Dib stood his ground.

"I have to see, Zim," he growled. "You can stay here if you want, but I'm going." He pushed the alien off his lap again--though not as gently as before--and stood up. "Computer, can you download the information about the Virchurion Institute's employee uniform and send it to Zim's disguise machine?"

"Smeet's play," the computer yawned. Dib took that as a yes.

Zim growled, a low noise that was more of frustration than of threat. The Dib-stupid could be so...so UGH sometimes. But he didn't stay where he was; he marched after the Dib-stink, back soldier straight, antennae slicked back in displeasure, a scowl firmly imprinted on his face.

"This way," he barked when Dib slowed, realizing that he didn't actually know where Zim's disguise machine was housed. Dib rolled his eyes at the alien, but wisely kept his mouth shut, shoving his hands into his coat pockets on reflex as he followed after the Irken.

The machine sat unobtrusively in the far corner of the room, a corner so underused it was already beginning to collect dust. Zim eyed the floor distastefully, giving a small shudder of revulsion at the tiny, almost invisible puffs of icky germy dust left in the wake of the Dib's hesitant steps as he approached the mass of machinery.

The thing hummed to life at its master and Dib's approach, a virtually see through holographic screen presenting itself to Dib, who was closest. A picture of Zim's old 'disguise' was on it. Pointedly ignoring Zim's heavy, irritated ruby stare on his back, Dib flickered through the various disguises until he found the one he was looking for. Shooting a wary glance up at the softly humming alien machine, he lightly tapped the image, figuring it worked like a touchscreen computer. He stiffened as the screen retracted, the humming upping an omnious notch, but Dib stood his ground, determined not to give Zim a reason to gloat by looking scared or intimidated by a simple alien disguise machine.

Then, without further warning, two halves of an egg-shaped pod clamped together, trapping Dib in the middle. Dib braced himself, clenching his eyes shut--

But the ordeal was over almost as soon as it began. Dib felt a strange tingle run all over his skin, from the top of his scythe lock to the bottom of his feet, a brief feeling of heat, then the two pod halves retracted, leaving him standing in open air once more.

The uniform consisted of a white and gunmetal gray jumpsuit (similar to Scattermoon's but not as detailed), white gloves and boots, and a motorcycle helmetlike helmet. Every piece was form-fitting; the helmet cradled his skull, making it feel and slightly heavier than usual; the jumpsuit and gloves flexed around his body like a second skin as he curiously moved his fingers and turned slowly on the spot. He peered through the helmet's tinted visor to see what Zim thought--but the Irken wasn't there.

"Zim...?" Inside the helmet, Dib's voice was muffled and somewhat distorted. Dib pulled it off, looking around for the Irken, apprehension twisting in his guts--

"OW!" Dib yelped, staggering back a little in shock and pain as his nose was pulled--hard.

Dib glared as a familiar cackling filled the air. Zim appeared, wearing what looked like a dark maroonish colored jumpsuit of his own.

"What is that?" Dib warily kept a hand on his abused nose as he spoke, eying Zim's new outfit.

"Stealth Doomer," the alien retorted smugly. "Your pitiful idea for a disguise won't work for Zim, so I got this."

Dib smirked, not bothering to hide it behind his hand. "So you're coming then?"

Zim glared up at him. "Yes, Dib-obvious. But not for your pitful HYUMAN work drones. Zim wants to see this disgusting alien base for himself."

Dib rolled his eyes, turning to go. "Whatever, Zim."

A clawed hand grabbed his arm, stopping him and digging into his skin through the thin sleeve of the jumpsuit. He turned back, amber gaze narrowed in annoyance. "What, Zim?"

A cord, roughly bent into the shape of a human ear with a blue bulb at the end, was shoved into his hand. "Put this on."

"What is it?" Dib asked automatically, looking over the small device curiously.

"Just put it on, Dib-curious."

Dib glanced at the impatient Irken, spying a similar device wrapped along the base of one antenna.

"Oh." Dib put the device on his ear, the cold blue ball nestling into the opening of his ear canal.

"Functioning?" Zim asked. Dib shivered, a weird sense of vertigo sweeping over him. With one ear he could hear Zim normally; with the other, he could hear him as if he were whispering directly into his ear.

"Yeah," the boy managed to answer. He could already feel a headache coming on.

Zim's eyes narrowed, the antenna on which the device was wrapped shivering like Dib's body had. He nodded. Message recieved.

Dib nodded back, lightly putting his hand on the claws on his arm briefly before turning to go again. This time he wasn't stopped.

The Virchurion Institute, though large, was a lot simpler, humbler-looking, and more organized building than Professor Membrane's lab, sitting quietly on the edge of town--the deserted, desolate edge right before town became lonely road.

Dib stared at it curiously. It certainly didn't look like a murderous alien she-bitch's base--there were no guards, living or otherwise, around its perimeter, nor even a fence with barbed wire. The plain, whitewashed building looked about as normal and ordinary as a hospital, though the marble sign next to the paved driveway gently pointed out otherwise.

Taking a deep breath, Dib put his helmet back on, pulling his own plain-looking vehicle into the gateless driveway. Since his Lexus had most likely been destroyed along with his home--and since there were too many people still buzzing around the site to check--Zim had sent GIR out to 'comandeer' a suitable one for them. Dib hadn't liked that idea all that much, but desperate times called for desperate measures, and a stolen car beat the hell out of walking. Dib had been amazed that the crazy little robot had managed to deliver it in all one piece--and that it wasn't bubblegum pink, or some other horridly bright color.

No one came out to meet them, or stop them. For Dib, whose experience with sneaking into alien bases had usually started with yelling and ended with him being thrown violently from the premises (until recently, that is) the silence and complete lack of life was eerie.

Shaking off the weird feeling, Dib pulled around to the side of the building, to the helpfully labeled employee parking area...where a lot of cars were parked. Dib looked at them as he parked himself, both relieved and daunted.

"All right, Zim. We'll split up once we're in and do some looking, but the humans are top priority. Got it?"

"Yes, yes. Whatever, Dib-stupid," was the growled response. Dib couldn't see him--he has activated his suit the second Virchurion had come into sight--but the boy could picture the dismissive wave and scowl the Irken was no doubt wearing clearly in his head.

Dib sighed, shoving the door of the stolen car open. He instantly got the feeling of being watched. Using only his eyes as he got out, he glanced around as he shut the door.

Yep. Security cameras, all along the side of the building. Dib casually walked toward them and the building's employee entrance. He seriously considered just leaving the invisible alien in there, but the stubborn green idiot would just come out on his own anyway and compromise Dib's cover, so he stopped, and turned back to the passenger side of the car, as if he had forgotten something.

He opened the car door, crouching down a bit as he looked inside the supposedly empty car. He felt one of Zim's claws run along his shoulder, hard, but not hard enough to bunch or otherwise disturb the cloth. Dib barely suppressed a shiver at the ghostly touch.

Once he felt Zim move around him, he stood up quickly, slamming the door shut as he mumbled, "Ass."

Zim didn't answer him, merely poked him sharply in the elbow. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. There's security cameras, in case your almighty self didn't notice."

Casually, wishing his stupid jumpsuit had pockets, Dib strolled back toward the employee entrance, a much smaller door than the main one in front, Zim beside him, occasionally touching his arm to tell his location.

The door was hard to maneuver without looking suspicious, but somehow they managed, Zim slipping in ahead of Dib quickly and silently, without too much of a pause.

Inside, they found themselves on a long, narrow, dull gray landing of sorts. Spaced out in front of them, were two polished steel staircases--one leading farther up, to a distant light Dib assumed was a door, the second, down into dimness.

Zim swiftly tapped Dib's arm, indicating he was taking the stairs leading down. "Okay," Dib said, his voice lowered to barely a whisper. "Be careful."

He didn't really mean to say that; it just sort of slipped out. This place was seriously giving him the creeps, making a hard knot of anxiety twist in his guts. The sooner they got the humans out and blew this place sky high the better.

Again, Zim didn't bother to answer him; Dib felt the air at his side stir a little, marking the alien's movement to the stairs. Taking a deep, reassuring breath, Dib took the other staircase.

It wasn't long till the creepy silence was filled with the low-gray humming of machinery, and the soft thump of many boots on linoleum floors. Soon after, the staircase opened out into a huge whitewalled room--a room large enough to fit Dib's entire house, with room to spare. Giant vats in which the chemicals were being made stood on his left, against the wall. A huge crowd of shuffling workers, all dressed exactly like him, managed the vats, from individual platforms attatched to the rims of the vats, and a long conveyor belt that ran down the middle of the room, carrying finished chemicals down the line for further processing.

Dib stood in the doorway, gaping behind his visor, that creepy feeling crawling up his spine again. Only it wasn't completely dead silence that was bothering him this time; it was something else, something that was wrong with this otherwise normal picture...

In a flash, it hit him: silence. Over the hum of the vats and the conveyor belt there was nothing. No human voices at all. No chitchat, no yelled commands, no jokes, no singing, no humming, or even whistling. The workers went about their work calmly, effeciently, almost mechanically. If it wasn't for the persistent thud of boots, the place might as well have been empty.

Something was very, very wrong here.

It was a mistake to come here. To bring Zim here. A small part of him that was closely tied to primitive animal instincts screamed at him to turn around and leave, to get the fuck out of there before he was noticed, to grab Zim and get as far away as physically possible. He was about to obey, when he spotted the fire alarm, a conspicuous red splotch in a sea of white, on the wall to his right, close by.

Dib shut out the panicking--he wasn't going to leave, not before he did what he came here to do. He darted forward, grabbing the handle of the fire alarm and yanking it down on it as hard as he could. Instantly lights started to flash, the alarm screaming.

The movement instantly stilled behind him. More gazes he could care to count turned to pierce into his very vulnerable back. He forced himself to turn around, yelling as loudly as he could: "All right, everybody out! A fire's broken out in one of the lower floors!"

There was no panicking; the workers remained still, even as the sprinklers kicked on, drenching them all. Then, as one, the helmeted heads cocked weirdly to one side, all at the same time, eyes still boring into Dib. As one again they all lifted their arms, gray guns unfolding from their wrists...

That's when Dib realized his terrible mistake.